Erectile dysfunction (ED) can be a crushing blow for a man for several reasons. One is that his ability to perform is directly related to his overall sensibility relating to gender association through his genitals. It’s his “manhood”, his “BFF”. The second relates to how this affects his relationship with his long-term partner who may feel sexually dissatisfied or even take ED personally, worrying they may have caused it.
While there could be health factors as to why your partner is having erection issues, it is more likely that there are psychological factors at play. The biggest one of them is the “fear of failure” where the man develops ED after having one or several incidents where he feels his sexual performance wasn’t up to par.
It could happen at any age. Perhaps he was feeling tired one day or preoccupied with thoughts about work. Or perhaps he is older and it naturally takes him longer to get aroused. Whatever the cause, if the man has even a single incident where he feels that he’s failed his partner by not fulfilling her expectations in bed, it could cause him to start worrying that it will happen every time he has sex again. This is called the “fear of failure” and it is the leading cause of ED in men.
The “fear of failure” is pervasive and can be devastating to the relationship both in and out of the bedroom. It often causes the woman to think there’s something wrong with her that her husband or long-term partner is having such issues.
If your partner suffers from ED, the first thing you should do is rule out an underlying medical issue. If you’ve consult a medical professional and your partner is A-OK physically, then we recommend battling psychological ED with psychology!
Here’s an incredibly effective exercise that has not only been proven to help with psychological ED but also reignite passion in the relationship. Make up an excuse as to why you can’t have sex for a month. It can be anything from “I pulled something at the gym,” to “My OBGYN found scraped this small thing which is no big deal but I’m not supposed to have sex for a little while.”
Why do we recommend curing his psychological ED by denying him sex for a month? Because we want to lift the pressure of performing in the bedroom from your partner. No pressure, no “fear of failure”, right?
The key to making sure this exercise works is creating strong sexual tension during this no-sex month. You want to make your partner believe that you so wish you could be having sex with him, but unfortunately it will hae to wait. Doctor’s orders.
It’s a very effective psychological cure to ED but be careful with this exercise because if it’s done incorrectly, it could backfire. There are little nuances to making this effective that can’t be ignored.
To learn more about this highly effective strategy for curing psychologically based ED and other ways you can help your partner through any sexual health-related issues he may be facing, look into our masterclass for women over 50, The Mature Woman’s Guide to Sexual Health and Relationships.