We often get asked questions about a topic that isn’t covered much in sex advice columns even though many couples face it – what are the best, and worst, sex positions for couples with different body shapes and sizes.
Everyone is unique. After all, it’s our differences that make life interesting. If we all came in the same shapes, sizes and sexual preferences, the world would be so boring! Variety is truly the spice of life and who doesn’t love a little variety, especially in the bedroom? You don’t have to have a “perfect” body to love sex or even get a little wild while doing it; you simply have to know how to use what you have been blessed with to the advantage of both you and your partner.
We know that you can figure it out on your own through trial and error. But what if you are in the early stages of a relationship where you are just starting to explore the sexual chemistry between you and your new partner? The pressure is on! Unfortunately, a less than great bedroom experience can cause a budding relationship to go sour.
We’ve compiled this guide what to do to enjoy maximum pleasure if you and your partner have very different physiques. We’ve also added a few positions you may want to avoid so you don’t throw your back out in the pursuit of sexual bliss. That’s a trip to the ER no one wants to take!
Petite Lady and Tall Guy
While there are some very good things about this combination, there are also a few things you have to be on the lookout for. When you have a large difference in height between two partners, then you want to avoid doggy style and side-by-side sex. Unless your vertically blessed guy is as strong as Hercules and as flexible as a cast member from Cirque du Soleil, then these positions will require a tremendous amount of strength and flexibility that he may not possess. In combination with a large difference in height, they take a lot more muscle strength and body contortion than it seems like they should! And if he’s concentrating too much on holding the position, then it’ll detract from his enjoyment of the act and may even impact his ability to keep his erection. After all, the blood flow will need to be redirected to other places in order for him to maintain that Olympic-level muscle control.
The best positions for the two of you are definitely going to be cowgirl and standing up. That may be surprising, but keep in mind that petite women have a lot of options when it comes to mounting that stallion in the cowgirl position. If you can put him on an elevated surface such as a bed, chair or table and bend your knees just so to wrap them around that sexy waist of his, then he better hold on tight! Have him grasp your arms or shoulders so that most of your weight falls over his nether regions rather than on your knees. Play around with the position of your hips, tilting them at different angles to vary up the amazing sensations for the both of you.
You should also know that as a tall guy and petite girl, you’re one of few couples that can actually accomplish sex standing up comfortably, so bravo to you! This is what movie sex dreams are made of, so have your guy support your weight in his big, buff arms as he holds you up effortlessly for penetration that is oh so right.
Tall Woman and Shorter Guy
Some men like an Amazonian woman to take them on a sexual journey they’ve never dreamed of, and it’s a combination that is more common than you might think. If you can easily kiss your guy on his forehead or he has to stand on a stool to help you with your jacket, then make sure to avoid doggy style. The height difference can create a difficult angle for him to comfortably reach your lady bits. Even if he does manage to accomplish it, the penetration won’t be as deep as it could be in other positions. So for the sake of your G-spot and his enjoyment, choose another position.
The right position for this couple is any situation where you’re able to lay horizontal – so the possibilities are endless! You can go with a classic like the missionary or you can try cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, and side-by-side. These positions will make the height difference melt away as you enjoy experimenting with any and every horizontal position under the sun, no matter who is on top!
Plus Size Gal and Skinny Dude
This is another combination with explosive possibilities as long as you’re sure to avoid a few sexual position pitfalls. The worst position for this couple is going to be the cowgirl. It’s one of the rare instances where cowgirl and bad idea go together in the same sentence because if you’re a Rubenesque lady on top of a thinner partner, it probably won’t be comfortable for either of you. Well, unless you have thighs like Serena Williams – because it’s going to take some serious muscle control! Of course, staying away from this position isn’t a hard and fast rule (though we are aiming for slow and long with a hard thrown in). If you’re a full-figured goddess dating a lanky guy, we just think it’s a good idea to seriously evaluate your physical strength and your ability and willingness to sustain what can be a pretty intense position to hold during a sex act.
Now, for the best positions, you have several options! You can go with guy on top, side-by-side, and doggy style to capitalize on your physical differences. We love a variation of side-by-side called the “embryo”. This is where you lie on your side with your knees pulled up toward your chest with your dude entering you from behind. You can creatively use pillows under your hips to help make this position more comfortable, but we guarantee it will rocket you into another universe! If you want to try something for deeper penetration, we recommend the classic missionary with him on top as you rest your legs on his shoulders and place a pillow under your hips. To the moon!
Both Partners are Plus Sized
If both you and your guy are big and beautiful, then we recommend you stay away from missionary, standing up, and sex on a table. Really any position that requires you to lie on top of each other won’t be very comfortable. Unless you’re former circus performers with insane flexibility, we don’t recommend standing up; even with partial support, it can be a difficult maneuver for the both of you.
Now, if you really want to rock each other’s worlds, we think you can’t go wrong with any position where you’re perpendicular to one another — including cowgirl. This allows for many different positions to be explored and for deep penetration so you can make all your sexual fantasies come true. Side-by-side is also a great position for this coupling, especially due to how long it can help both of you to go! Sex marathon, anyone?
Every person is beautiful and perfect in their own unique way, and there’s no right way to have sex, or orgasm for that matter! If you don’t wholeheartedly agree with this statement, then you’re probably not enjoying the best sex that life has to offer. In this case, we highly recommend you read Emily Nagoski’s best seller Come As You Are, which could completely change the way you think about your body and sexuality. It shows you how to take control of your desire and sex drive, including a difficult situation that plagues many couples — when you love your partner but don’t desire them anymore.
But we digress. As we’ve said, there is no right way to have sex, but there are more comfortable and enjoyable ways to do the deed that take advantage of your beautiful natural attributes. We hope these ideas can help you to get more satisfaction from sex with your partner, no matter your body shape and size differences. The only thing you have to have in common for sure is a love for sex!