Best (and Worst) Sex Positions for Couples with Different Physiques


We often get asked questions in our masterclasses about a topic that isn’t covered much in sex advice columns – what are the best sex positions for couples with different body shapes and sizes.

You can figure it out on your own through trial and error. But what if you are in the early stages of a relationship where you’re just starting to explore the sexual chemistry between you and your new partner? The pressure is on! Unfortunately, a less than great bedroom experience can cause a budding relationship to go sour.

So we decided to compile this guide of what sex positions will work best for couples who have very different physiques. We’ve also added a few positions you may want to avoid because awkward or uncomfortable sex is not amazing.

(To learn more about how to be a great lover and reach orgasm easier in all the mainstream positions, take a look into our masterclasses Ladies Come First and Men by Design.)

Petite Lady and Tall Guy

For this commonly occurring combination, let’s start with what not to do. When you have a large height difference, you may want to avoid doggy style and side-by-side sex. Unless your vertically blessed guy is as strong as Hercules and as flexible as a cast member from Cirque du Soleil, these sex positions could require too much strength and flexibility from him. If he’s concentrating too much on holding these position, it’ll detract from his enjoyment of sex and may even impact his erection as the blood flow may need to be redirected to other places in order for him to maintain that Olympic-level muscle control.

The best positions for the two of you are going to be cowgirl and standing up. You’re one of few couples that can actually accomplish sex standing up comfortably. This is what movie sex dreams are made of. Have your guy support your weight in his big, buff arms. Hot!

With the cowgirl position, use your imagination, because as a petite woman, you have a lot of options when it comes to mounting your stallion. Play around with the positioning of your hips, tilting them at different angles to vary up the sensations.

There is a certain way that you can move in the cowgirl position that will give your partner one of the strongest orgasms he’s ever experienced. (Spoiler Alert: It has to do with your range of motion and pacing.)

To learn this  move, come to our Ladies Come First masterclass.

Tall Woman and Shorter Guy

If you can easily kiss your guy on his forehead then we recommend avoiding doggy style. The height difference can create a difficult angle for him to comfortably enter you. Even if he is able to get in there, the penetration won’t be as deep as it would be in other positions.

The most comfortable sex position for this couple is any position where one or both partners are horizontal. The possibilities are endless! You can go with a classic — the missionary — or you can try cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, and side-by-side. All these positions will make the height difference melt away.

Spoiler Alert: There is a trick that you can do in bed to increase the depth of penetration in any position. It’s particularly useful if the woman is taller than the guy or if the guy is not very well endowed.

To learn this  move, come to our Ladies Come First masterclass.

Plus Size Gal and Skinny Dude

This is another combination with explosive possibilities and a few positions to avoid.

The least comfortable position for this couple is the cowgirl. It’s one of the rare instances where cowgirl and bad idea go together in the same sentence. If you’re a Rubenesque lady on top of a lighter partner, the cowgirl position just won’t be comfortable for either of you. Well, unless you have thighs like Serena Williams because it’s going to take you some serious muscle control to hold yourself up so you don’t  put weight on your partner.

Now for the best positions, you have several options, including missionary, side-by-side, and doggy style. We love a variation of side-by-side called the “embryo”. This is where you lie on your side with your knees pulled up toward your chest, with your dude entering you from behind. You can use pillows under your hips to help make this position more comfortable, but we guarantee it will rocket you into another universe!

If you want to try something for deeper penetration, we recommend the classic missionary with you resting your legs on his shoulders and placing a pillow under your hips. To the moon!

Both Partners are Plus Sized

 If both you and your guy are big and beautiful, then we recommend avoiding missionary, standing up, and sex on a table. Really any position that requires you to lie on top of each other or holding each other up won’t be very comfortable.

Now, if you really want to rock each other’s worlds, we think you can’t go wrong with any sex position where you’re perpendicular to one another — including cowgirl. This allows for many different sex positions to be explored and for deep penetration so you can make all your sexual fantasies come true. Side-by-side is also a great position for this coupling, especially due to how long it can help both of you to go! Sex marathon, anyone?

Every person is beautiful and perfect in their own unique way, and there’s no right way to have sex, or orgasm for that matter! If you don’t wholeheartedly agree with this statement, then you’re probably not enjoying the best sex that life has to offer. In this case, we highly recommend you read Emily Nagoski’s best seller Come As You Are, which could completely change the way you think about your body and sexuality. It shows you how to take control of your desire and sex drive, including a difficult situation that plagues many couples — when you love your partner but don’t desire them anymore.

But we digress. As we’ve said, there is no right way to have sex, but there are more comfortable and enjoyable ways to do the deed that take advantage of your beautiful natural attributes. We hope these ideas can help you to get more satisfaction from sex with your partner, no matter your body shape and size differences. The only thing you have to have in common for sure is a love for sex!