Why Sexting is Good for Your Relationship

Sexting Can Boost Passion - The V. Club

Some women like to sext even before they had their first date. Others are too shy to sext even with their longterm partners who had seen them naked a million times. Too much communication, sexual or otherwise, via text has been shown to hurt the relationship. But in moderation, sexting is good for your relationship. Here’s why.

Imagine the following scenario. You have been together for a year or two, and things have gotten a little, shall we say, “stale” in your relationship. I get it. You’re busy. He’s busy. You’re like two ships passing in the night, in a sea of work meetings, parties, extracurricular commitments. When you get home at the end of the day, all you want to do is Netflix without the chill. 

In the back of your mind, you know that the sexiness of your relationship had all but slipped away. Many people think that once that happens, it’s too late to take the sexiness back. Not true, in most cases!

Many women find sexting awkward or embarrassing for reasons that touch the core of what men want from sex and relationships to be happy. It’s quite different from what women want, and you should understand these differences to have a happy, lasting relationship.

We explain what men are really looking for from love in our masterclass Men by Design.

But for now, if you want to create or reawaken the passion, let’s explore the why’s and how’s of sexting because it’s a powerful tool for couples of all ages.

Why should you sext?

Imagine a hard-working man who has been assigned to the same project at work for months. He’s been working long hours, has been overly stressed out, and his boss has been hounding him to make sure every final detail is perfect.

That night, he comes home, exhausted from the day. He walks in and finds his partner, having had just an amazing day at work, has lit candles and is sitting in a seductive position on their bed.

How do you think the man will react?

I bet 9 times out of 10, even though he’s biologically wired for sex, his heart will sink. He will have to explain to his partner, that it’s not her, that he loves her, and he thinks that she’s very sexy, but the truth is he’s exhausted and all he’s been thinking about all day is sitting on the couch and watching the game.

Now for her, it’s an epic fail. Heartbroken and ego-bruised, she blows out the candles and pulls on her PJs, trying not to feel hurt and insecure about the whole situation.

Okay, so we know how that goes. Huge bummer. 

Now let’s imagine a different scenario.

The man has been working all day long. Again his boss is hounding him, and he is just SO over work. But then he gets a text from his partner out of the blue. The text simply says, “Can’t wait to blow you tonight {Kiss Emoji}.” His eyebrows immediately raised in shock and a smile crosses his face.

I’m willing to bet that for the next few hours, your man will be thinking about only one thing and one thing only. The feeling of your mouth on him and the mind-blowing sex you’ll have after.

Now, with candles lit and lingerie on, you will be welcoming home someone who is not only much more receptive to sex but perhaps even burning with passion for you.

I hope that illustrates the power of why sexting has grown into such a phenomenon. Now, it’s not going to work every single time. It’s probably not best to do it right before a big meeting with his boss for example, but it’s going to work more often than not.

How do you get started?

Here are 3 quick tips that you can implement today: 

  • Keep it simple. Most women don’t sext because they are not sure where to start. They worry that they have to be some sort of porn star to be sexy. Not true! Men are very simple. They don’t need the build-up or the back story. That’s usually for us, ladies! We have an entire masterclass on what exactly men need in sex and relationships to be happy. So trust your instincts and keep it light.
  • Keep it visual. We know that men love with their eyes. They are incredibly visual for all sorts of social and biological reasons. So what’s the best way to get them virtually aroused? Paint them a picture. Share what you may be wearing when he gets home or what position you want to do it in. He will love having that mental image in his mind all day long.
  • Send a pic. It doesn’t even have to be a nude photo. Sometimes, just a pic of your lips with lipstick on, maybe licking your lips. Or a photo of yourself with a low neckline. Mildly suggestive is enough to make it an effective sext.

Pro Tip: Make sure his phone is set to not show pictures on the home screen, so you don’t accidentally show up seductively during a work meeting.

I hope you can see now how sexting can help you add some spice during the day to create the sexual momentum in the evening and feel more confident trying this out. We are here for you to answer any questions you may have and look forward to hearing any success stories. Share them here!